The Day Draws Near...

I just finished mounting up my race tires on my bike...one of a handful of pre-race tasks that must be completed before my race this Saturday.  Yep, that's right...it is this Saturday!  If I told you I wasn't getting nervous, I'd be lying to you.  If I told you I wasn't having second thoughts about racing...I'd be lying to you.  I guess its probably a good thing that I had to pay $80 to participate...and there are no refunds!  Money can really be a motivator.

My 'race' is not your ordinary race.  For many, the word race conjures up thoughts of competitors going head to head against one another, at break-neck speeds.  And while this is true for some types of mountain bike racing (like the race I was supposed to participate in for the World Police and Fire Games) it is certainly not the case for my race on Saturday.  There will be other competitors in my class (solo racer), and they may be setting blistering paces in order to complete more laps than their opponents.  My race however, will be against myself.  My opponents lie within me...my mind, and my aging body.  I am racing against myself...no one else.  The race has actually started for me already.  In fact, it started the day I decided to compete in the solo class.  Every day is a mental battle for me, as I try to fight the demons in my head that say I am too old, or not in good enough shape for this race.  I have to admit that there are days that I lose the battle.  Fortunately however, losing one small battle here and there does take me out of the fight...it actually serves to motivate me.

I have been asked numerous times since 'announcing' my intent to race, "Why would you do that?"  It's funny, but sometimes you can sense that there is more behind a question, than just the question being asked.  Inflection, tone, body language...they all tend to give us a deeper look into the true meaning behind the question.  For instance...the other day, one of my fellow firefighters asked me a similar question..."Why are you riding your bike for 12-hours straight?"  Now if it were asked just as I typed it, it would simply be a question...but when you add in facial expression (smirk), the rolling of the eyes, and waving of the hands in a 'oh look at me, I'm doing something special' manner, it becomes quite apparent that the question is really not a question, but more of a statement of disapproval.  Oh well.  Then there are the genuine questions regarding why I would want to do something that sounds so grueling and 'un-fun'.  This question has been asked of many people, regarding many different challenging tasks and events.  The most well known of course, refers to the sport of technical climbing and mountaineering.  Often climbers are asked "Why did you climb that?"  The usual answer..."Because it was there".

In my opinion however, the true answer to these types of questions is simply the challenge itself.  I believe that for us to truly know who we are, we must know what we are made of...what we are capable of accomplishing, both physically and mentally.  So for those who truly want to know why I am doing this race, I can tell you that it is not about attention...it's not about trying to be better than someone else...it's simply about challenging myself, both mentally and physically, in my life-long journey of understanding who I am and what I am capable of.

So wish me luck as I fast approach the start time of the most physically demanding personal challenge I have yet to face.  My goal is to complete 10-laps in 12-hours.  I'll post again on Sunday to let you all know how I did.